Archives for category: random

As seen on reddit.com

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Ok, so you’ve added your graffiti to the handicap stall in a Starbucks.

Obviously there were easier targets to make your mark, but you chose something bold to grab attention and fulfill that sense of thrill that we all want to foster deep inside. The other day I jaywalked across a one way street in NW Portland so I think we are kindred spirits, thrill seekers with nothing to lose and everything to gain from willful acts of disobedience and defiance of social norms.

Now the question is: where do you go from here? If you start off aiming to high and succeed it can kill the ambition of any aspiring avant garde artist… was it too dangerous? Will you forever be turned away from the seemingly mundane graffiti targets like the side of a police station in broad daylight? Will you scuffle away from the obviously easy and now less rewarding Highway exit signs… because where is the fun when you’ve already exposed yourself to danger that dwarfs these?

Bruce Lee once said that man must always exceed his limits, but he never met you.

How, after having flown so high, can you calmly walk among those you see as ants milling about with no clear purpose and no accomplishments to their name?

I can’t answer these hard questions. I can only wish you luck for the road ahead; untouched by the meek and those who would only seek the low hanging fruit… your footsteps alone will show that such a road can be walked.

Godspeed Starbucks Graffiti Guy, Godspeed.

The men on my mom’s side of the family have a nasty habit of dying while wearing the color green… or so i’m told. More specifically the brighter the green the likelier you are to meet a terrible end by drowning or perhaps by a chimney inspecting accident. This does not alarm me because my lack of style has precluded me from wearing anything “brighter” than earth tones and has for some time.

Naturally there can be no greater threat to my life than the expansion of my fashion horizons to include orange, red, blue, and yes… bright green.

The near-purchase of a green shirt kicked my mothers instinct into high gear and made her divulge the terrible truth about my family. I sat in the car and calmly listened as a list of men who met their end wearing green was recounted to me. A quote I roughly remembered popped into my head…

.. almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” -Steve Jobs

I think me and Steve have a very similar outlook apart from the whole closed Apple software/hardware ecosystem that I despise and hope comes to a swift end. Also instead of being naked I’m wearing green.

I bought a bright green shirt because a man has to hedge his bets on the world not being as superstitious as he fears… but I also made the conscious choice of buying only an exercise shirt in that color so that I can workout like its my last day on earth.

So, sorry mom. I’ll wear green even if it kills me.

Sure, we made a list of grievances against King George and then dramatically said it wasn’t working and that it wasn’t us, it was him…  But that is old news. America has moved on, so I vote we should celebrate the infinitely practical.  We should celebrate the hinge.

How many days do we spend celebrating seemingly innocuous architectural and engineering milestones that we use daily?  That’s right zero.

Cabinets, doors, gates, laptops, flip phones…  Ever been tied up and locked in a trunk? Hinges.

Ever shot fireworks to celebrate the fact that you can close your bedroom door to shut out the cries of your overbearing girlfriend?  Ever poured one out for the hinge you pressed to hide that porn pop up in the lecture hall?

So take the fourth to celebrate like the rest of America, but when it comes to acknowledging the mechanism in your fold out lawn chair…

 

It all hinges on you.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“How do you pronounce that?”

“Not sure.”

How do you pronounce that?